It's crazy to think in less than 16 weeks we will be adding baby #4 (a boy) to our family. Truthfully, I'm in denial.
Don't misunderstand me. We are beyond thrilled to have another baby. I'm in love with newborns and feel an indescribable sense of sadness when my babies transition into toddlerhood. Perhaps this sadness comes because the independence they naturally start to crave means Mom (me) is no longer the #1 person in their little lives. Or, it could also be because toddlerhood and the accompanying tantrums mean chaos for me.
Either way, as I've watched Landon (now 2) start to enter into this toddlerhood phase, I'm sad for the little baby I have lost. He's been such an amazingly joyful little soul, and I have found such fulfillment from being his mother. So much of my attention has been on him the past few months as he's been making remarkable strides in his own development that I've had little time to ponder the fact that his baby role in the family will soon be replaced by his little brother.
Now, the fact of an approaching due date has hit me. I cannot live in denial any longer. I will soon be the mother of 4! (Four?!!) Four little precious spirits sent to earth from their Heavenly home to my home, with an expectation that they will be loved, cared for and taught truth. The more I think about the important role of motherhood, the more daunting it becomes. It is such a sacred trust, a special partnership with my husband and God. I am grateful that my Father in Heaven has blessed me with this amazing opportunity. I fall short of His expectations daily, but in the rare quiet moments of my day, as I have an opportunity to remember the joys of motherhood & the few things I do right, I know somehow He is still proud of me and my efforts. It makes me excited and nervous to contemplate becoming a mother all over again in just a few short months.
It's time to prepare for the new little one who will soon enlarge my heart all over again and help me to better understand our Father's love for us.
I am in denial no longer...
6 comments:
Jen, you are a wonderfull mother!!! From my experience 4 is so much easier than 3...I'm not sure why but it really is.
Its hard for me to believe it too, because I can't believe your kids are already so big! It's hard for me to not see you as the teacher @ Cherry Hill..you've been in the family for 10+years! That is AWESOME! Time flies. I love that your family is growing, you are such an awesome mom. Im so excited for him to arrive!
jen, enjoy every second of your newest little man! i miss the stage you are in right now....i fall so deeply in love with the little people Heavenly Father has given us and yearn for "the feeling". you are going to be fantastic as a mommy of 4!! it's a special time!
You are gonna be a great mother of 4. Four is so fun! I totally know how you feel though. I always get a little freaked before the new babe arrives, but it is shocking how it all comes back to you. I'm so excited for you. Meeting the new little one is always an extremely precious spiritual experience. I can't wait to meet him too!
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